Archive | March, 2009

YOU DOGS !!

29 Mar

Anjing-anjing itu kembali lagi. Mereka memang tak tahu diuntung. Seenaknya datang, apapun yang orang pikirkan tentang mereka. Dipimpin oleh seekor anjing geladak hitam besar hampir raksasa yang selalu menyeringai, mereka menyebar begitu saja di sudut-sudut lingkungan tempat tinggalku, seperti air yang selalu mencari tempat yang paling rendah. Aku tak pernah berhasil mengetahui nama si alpha male pemimpin ini, walaupun pernah aku memancing untuk mencoba bersahabat dengannya lewat sepotong sirloin sisa makananku semalam. Yang aku tahu cuma satu hal yang aneh dan tak relevan : ada satu selipan daging busuk di sela-sela taring atasnya. Setiap kali aku melihatnya, serpihan daging tadi selalu ada di sana, menjuntai tak keruan seperti umbai cacing dari usus buntu manusia. Ah, nanti akan kubersihkan gigimu dengan tusuk gigi setelah kau kubunuh.

Ya, aku memang berencana membunuh mereka. Keputusanku telah final. Walaupun mungkin besok aku harus repot membersihkan bangkai-bangkai beludak itu dari lingkunganku, tak akan aku mundur dibuatnya. Telah lama aku membenci mereka yang kencing di sembarang tempat begitu saja. Atau kawin-mengawin tepat di bawah jendelaku di siang hari bolong. What the fuck were they thinking ? Ah, entahlah. Yang pasti, aku jengah dan muak mendengar gonggongan mereka. Ya, hal itulah yang paling kubenci dari kirik-kirik peranakan Cerberus ini. Bunyi mereka. See ? Itulah masalahnya dengan telinga. Kau tak bisa menutupnya begitu saja seperti kau memejamkan matamu saat seseorang mengiris daging pada bagian betismu tipis-tipis. Atau apakah itu adegan dari film yang kutonton malam tadi ?

Aku tak peduli bahkan jika pengadilan kota menghukumku dengan pekerjaan sosial sekian ratus jam pun. Mau dituntut kriminal pun boleh-boleh saja. Anjing toh bukan manusia. Paling tidak ini berarti bahwa aku melakukan suatu hal untuk kepentingan orang-orang di sekitarku juga toh ? Manusia kebanyakan memang begitu. Mereka sebenarnya selalu mendambakan untuk melakukan satu hal yang kotor, namun tak pernah punya cukup nyali untuk benar-benar melakukannya. Coba saja kau berkeliling dan tanyakan kepada orang-orang yang tinggal di sekitarku apakan mereka ingin anjing-anjing itu mati. Mereka tak tahu, bahwa yang menjijikkan bukanlah kegiatan membunuh anjing-anjing tadi, namun kemunafikan mereka yang esok hari akan gantian mencercaku atas nama perikebinatangan. Ah, fuck you, Body Shop !

OK. Sekarang tinggal menimbang-nimbang seperti apa aku akan melakukannya. Ada tiga hal yang siap digunakan di tanganku. Racun tikus, parang dan pistol yang berisi dua butir peluru. Jangan tanya dari mana aku mendapatkan benda-benda tadi. Kita tak punya waktu cukup untuk menceritakannya. Tidakkah kau dengar lolongan menjijikkan mereka ? Really, it’s more than enough to drive a man crazy. Lebih baik kita melakukannya sekarang, sebelum aku berubah pikiran. Racun tikus adalah pilihan yang paling aman. Parang dan pistol akan membuat segalanya terlalu berantakan. Bisa – bisa terlalu banyak pekerjaan yang harus kulakukan untuk membersihkan tubuh mereka yang berantakan. OK, kalau begitu racun tikus. Mari kita mencampurnya dengan apapun yang kumiliki dalam kulkas.

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Ah, bagus, There you go. Si Hitam pemimpin mendekati piring penuh makanan beracun itu dan mengendusnya dengan penuh minat. Namun harapanku langsung runtuh waktu kulihat ia mundur dua langkah dan berpaling pergi. Para pengikutnya pun seperti manut saja dan pergi mengekor tanpa menengok ke belakang lagi, tak seperti istri Lot yang berubah menjadi tiang garam. Ah, mungkin memang lebih mudah meracuni keluarga si Lot tua itu daripada seekor anjing. Atau mungkin memang aku yang tak mengerti sistem peranjingan, lantaran kebanyakan menghabiskan waktu hidupku untuk memanipulasi manusia. Ah, persetan ! Sudah terlambat untuk mengubah pikiranku sekarang. Kuambil pistol yang terletak di bawah cermin riasku di sebelah sisir dan botol parfum. Lantas kuiisi dia dengan dua butir peluru yang kumiliki.

Percobaanku dengan racun tikus yang gagal tadi memberiku satu pelajaran. Yang harus kulakukan hanyalah membunuh Si Hitam tadi, dan pengikutnya pun akan pergi sendiri, terkaing-kaing dengan ekor terselip di antara kaki belakang mereka. Dus, bahkan jika aku mencerai-beraikan jeroan si Hitam dengan peluruku, pekerjaan pembersihan yang harus kulakukan setelahnya tak akan seberat yang kuperkirakan sebelumnya. Omong-omong, sudahkah kuceritakan bahwa aku belajar menembak dari tetangga nenekku yang pada masa mudanya hidup sebagai pemburu, – persis seperti di cerita-cerita Jack London. Saat aku meninggalkan rumah nenekku dua belas tahun yang lalu, ia pula yang menghadiahkan si Haram Jadah ini sebagai kado perpisahan, – julukannya untuk sepucuk pistol hitam yang kini kugenggam di tanganku.

Jadi, kenapa aku masih gemetar saat aku akan membidik Si Hitam itu ? Apakah karena ada nyawa yang akan tercabut karenanya ? Stop it. Kamu banci atau apa ? Benar. Kenapa sekarang harus kupikirkan alasan-alasan yang meringankan untuk binatang terdakwa itu ? Kuangkat pistolku, kubidik Si Hitam tepat di tengah-tengah kedua matanya yang memandangiku kebingungan. Ah, matamu ternyata berwarna coklat seperti tahi. BAM !! BAM !!

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PRAGUE, 6 March 2009. A man was found dead in his lone apartment in the fifth floor of Melantrich Apartments. Apparently just woken up from his sleep, there are no indications of a break-in and homicide. In fact, the authority said that everything pointed out to the possibility of suicide. The victim had two bullets lodged deep inside his brain and his wall was so full of two words written in red lipstick : You Dogs !

The Papal Pyroantics : Playing With Fire

18 Mar

This day certainly will not count as one of the best days of my life. In the morning, I learnt that one of my online friends who was honestly caring and thoughtful individual has passed away. Later in the day, I received a not-so-good-news about work, and found myself still hopelessly angry about something in my past. I am certainly worried about my family’s future, yet still, just now I stumbled into something that made me worry about the world in general.

This piece of news from MSNBC reported that The Pope has issued a statement where he reportedly made his first explicit statement about HIV / AIDS. And I must say that what he said failed to impress me. If anything, it even got me feeling disturbed and a bit angered.

On his way to Africa on Tuesday the Pope said that condoms were not the answer in the continent’s fight against HIV. “You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms,” the pope told reporters aboard the Alitalia plane headed to Yaounde, Cameroon, where he will begin a seven-day pilgrimage on the continent. “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”

In all fairness, he did say that The Vatican encourages sexual abstinence to fight the spread of the disease. In itself, sexual abstinence is a very good thing, if one can indeed keep himself / herself abstaining from sex. But I feel that’s a one very big “if”. What His Holiness failed to comprehend, is the fact that his statement certainly has tremendous potential power to defer the use of condoms among the general population.

Now let us pause for a moment and combine those two conditions. If we can safely assume that the population in general will still engage in sex no matter what anyone might say ( for obvious valid purpose of procreation or just recreation ); and if a lot of people then abhor the use of condoms because a certain religious authority has stated that it only increases the problems ; I shudder to think what the future might bring to this planet in the context of HIV / AIDS. In fact, my fingers were trembling as I typed this post. This is a blatant display of ignorance of what The Papal Throne means. He is a person of authority, and his words hold very big influence over millions of people on this planet. To issue a statement with such dangerous possible implications is very foolish, – regardless of all the best intentions that he had ( in issuing it ).

God, I don’t know. One of my previous posts was written exactly to protest the similar kind of statement made by a certain organization in Indonesia, – now the head of one of the biggest institutionalized religion on earth said the same thing. If I call the said post by the title of “Ideology or Idiocy”, then indeed I am sorry to say that The Pope is walking that very fine hypothetical line between Ideology and Idiocy. He is playing with fire, – and if he continues to do so, it’s going to be one big fire he would not enjoy to try to tame.

To Track or not to Track ?

5 Mar

After declining a couple of tasks to write sponsored reviews, I finally decided to accept another. The reason is that because this one is a particularly inviting, even controversial, topic for me. In the process, it will even allow me to me to write not so much as a sponsored review as a blog post of my own; – for I clearly engaged in some personal deliberations in thinking about this post.

OK. Enough of that. It’s about GPS. While the acronym itself stands for Global Positioning System, a GPS tracking unit is :

“is a device that uses the Global Positioning System to determine the precise location of a vehicle, person, or other asset to which it is attached and to record the position of the asset at regular intervals. The recorded location data can be stored within the tracking unit, or it may be transmitted to a central location data base, or internet-connected computer, using a cellular (GPRS), radio, or satellite modem embedded in the unit.” – taken from Wikipedia

Of course, a lot can be discussed on how is one going to use such tracking unit for positive ends, like crime tracking, package delivery tracking or fleet tracking. However, I started to feel uneasy when I was pondering about personal tracking. You know, it’s the kind you use to track down your kids, or even the whereabouts or your spouse if you feel that she’s cheating on you. For clearly it will be just as easy, – if not easier, to implement a tracking system to your loved ones as to utilize it for your business.

The implication of personal tracking is then inevitably points to the issue of personal privacy and ethics. How far could you go in tracking the whereabouts of someone else, – and thus infer what she does on a regular basis ? In the USA, for example, the use of GPS trackers by police requires a search warrant in some circumstances, but use by a private citizen does not. He / she can easily cite the Fourth Amendment as his basis to do so. But other laws, like the common law invasion of privacy, potentially cover the use of GPS tracking devices by private citizens without consent of the individual being so tracked.

Regulations aside, I feel that the answer to this problematic issue should lie in the personal level. There is no correct or wrong answer here. Rather, you need to be honest to yourself and see to it that you really need to track your loved one because you need to, and not only to satisfy your own trivial personal curiosity. Take the kids for example. If you live in a neighborhood rampant with crime, it is a good idea to use a tracking system just to anticipate possible kidnapping dangers. In this case, you’re not only doing the right thing, but you also are helping the police and yourselves should such thing happens.

But how about tracking your spouse ? This is exactly what I was talking about when I said that you need to be honest to yourself. You may or may not be justified to do so. If he / she is in danger, then by all means go ahead with it. But if you’re doing it to check whether he / she is cheating on you, you then need to proceed carefully and ponder all the possible implications beforehand. You wouldn’t want the scenario to backfire and ruin your relationship further.

In the end, as with other beneficial technology inventions, GPS tracking could also be used for malevolent purpose. It is us, the user, who determines what course are we using our technology to head into. As somebody once observed, it is the singer, not the song.

Disclosure : This post is a sponsored work brought to you by our mutual friends at LightningGPS.